The Time I was Attacked in Seoul

I’ve never had a more of a straight out of a comedy movie moment than when I was attacked in Seoul, South Korea, by a bidet.

Picture this: It’s 11pm, my friend and I just came from a long “hard” day of roaming the streets of Seoul and so of course we wanted to refuel and what better way to that than with some Korean Barbecue. We stop into one of the many Korean BBQ places on the street and got a table.

My friend decided that she needed to use the bathroom, so while she went and did that, I was settling into my seat, setting up vlog camera and what not. Just then my friend comes back from the bathroom in a panic trying to explain to me the horrible thing that has just happened to her. She tells me about the toilet and how it had so many buttons and how she just wanted to flush the toilet. In a rush she goes on to say how she pressed one of the buttons and something comes out of the toilet and starts spraying water at her and she pressed up against the side of the bathroom stall trying not to get sprayed. Now I’m just sitting there laughing my ass off at this experience she just had, thinking really, flushing the toilet isn’t rocket science.

I then decided that I also need to use the bathroom. So I go upstairs, use the bathroom and its my turn to flush the toilet. I’m looking at the many different buttons, careful not to press the button my friend said she pressed. Now I’m confident, I’m like “I got this, I totally know what I’m doing.” I press a button that I think will flush the toilet and I see the device begin to come out of the toilet. In the moment all I could think was “ohhh, this is what she was talking about.” (You really have to see it to understand.)

Did I think to step back or that the toilet was going to start spraying water? No I did not. So when it does, it comes as a total surprise. (Remember what my friend did, she pressed up against the side of the stall so it wouldn’t hit her.) Well that was not my approach. I had opened the stall door already in case something was to happen. The device proceeds to start spraying water. I yell at the top of my lungs and run out of the stall to the bathroom door. I was in the first stall so it was directly in front of the bathroom door. I didn’t realize that the water would travel so far, so when it was still coming at me, I bang against the locked bathroom door trying to turn the knob in a panic to get the hell out of there. I somehow manage to get the door open and I run out of the bathroom down the stairs screaming frantically like I was being murdered. The waitresses and my friend comes up to ask me if everything is okay. I try to explain what happened and all my friend has to say is “Didn’t I just tell you that this happened to me?”

There you have it, the time I was attacked by a bidet. Sad part is, I came in contact with a bidet another time and I noticed that the flush was right where it was supposed to be, but because we were so distracted by all the buttons we didn’t even notice it.